Waves
washing over my body,
i'm drowning.
for so long
i've been coasting,
sailing,
swimming,
but every once in a while
the hypochondria takes over
and i think,
“i cant be this happy”
i think,
“something has to go wrong”,
and i catch it again.
i catch it like contagion,
every time i get too close,
i catch it.
every touch,
every kiss,
every lick,
i catch it–
you push me further and further down.
your sadness is being passed through
from you
to me
like a disease,
and baby it’s terminal
because i would rather die
than see you sick.
i see it in your eyes–
the sadness,
it’s submerging you
and i,
i’m sinking too,
and I know you’re the anchor but for some reason
i can’t let go.
i lost the feeling in my fingertips
and the fire in my heart,
and you let me…
cause you were too focused on saving yourself
to notice that in doing so,
you drowned me.